Part One
The First Breakdown
Changing Faces
I started to see similarities
In everyone’s irregularities
The faces of friends’ past
Hit hard like I was on a fast
Some were South American
Others were next of kin
Everything reminded me
Of my upcoming insanity
It’s scary as heck
When you’re up to your neck
In a load of shit
Guarded by an alligator pit.
The Devil Inside
The punch of thoughts
Because my mind was so begot
Because of my devotion
I lost control of my emotions
The girl I loved
Who I believed came from above
Had done me wrong
And I felt like a ding dong.
My obsession
To make her my possession
And visa versa
Was a cursa
Her unbelieveth draw
Meant nothing at all
Because my mind
Was really so unkind
I did my best
To let my mind rest
But my advice to thee
Is to let things be
I finally punched a door
Because of the girl I adored
Who made me crazy
And my mind all hazy
And ruined my reputation
Because of her great temptation
Beauty only lies skin deep
And the horrors you will reap
Because of your infatuation
Over an unreal situation..
Emergency Room
My roommate made me go
Because I was acting like I was on tons of blow
Speaking of nuts
And obsessed with girls’ butts
I scared the hell out of him
And those men call “trim.”
I came off as a stalker
But I was only a talker
I thought it was growing pains
But when it rains
It pours
Hell from the whores.
The Ambulance Ride
I went reluctantly
Only because they made me
I was shocked
Because I believed I was some kind of rock
When I tried to escape
They tugged on this hero’s cape
To let me know
This time I was not passing go
They strapped me down
And took this kid’s party crown.
The Check-In
A black woman checked me in
With the whitest teeth I’d seen within
She spoke with a Caribbean accent
And smelled of a sweet scent
She offered me medicine
To help with my recent sins
As another black patient walked
But he didn’t talk
I listened to him whistle
And it was clear as crystal
His tune was not Dixie
But signaling my mind was playing tricksy.
Later That Night
The male receptionist
Sat behind the desk
I was suspicious of he
That he’d been with my future fiancée
His hair was red like the devil
For that I wanted to rebel
I attacked him from the side
But like the Alabama Crimson Tide
He won the fight
And I spent the night
In the rubber room
Long before they had Zoom
All alone
But fortunate to have no broken bones.
The Blueberry Pie
The first time I was in the hospital
When I was none too hospitable
My mom and stepdad came
With a box of rain
Inside was a blueberry pie
Which was a gift from the sky
They had not given up hope
And that I was just some dumb dope
I spoke the truth
As living proof
That you were unkind
And it troubled my mind.
All I Wanted
It wasn’t all bad in there
One could eat all they could bear
Cigarettes were given free
Which filled me with glee
Plenty of sweet juice for all
Who had the gall
To stuff their face
After their mind had taken an about face.
Discharge Day
I’d finally had enough
No more free stuff
I started talking shit
About being in this pit
Only because I had money
And this institution is crummy
Threaten not to pay
And you’ll be sent on your way.
The Ride Home-10
I called a taxi
The moment they said I was free
Before I saw the light of day
My old friend Jay
Came by
What a great guy
To see a funny face
After being in a place
Where your sole entertainment was to pace.
Home Again
The moment I broke the door
I hit the refrigerator
To grab a beer
To signal no fear
The old Benton
is still here.
Old Country Style
For some reason
Maybe because it was in season
I don’t know why I bothered
But I told her father
I wanted thee
To marry me
He was nice
As sugar and spice
When I deserved to be punched in the mouth
For being such a louse.
Final Sighting
When she came to my mom’s house
I was about as strong as a mouse
There was no reason for alarm
I could do no harm
I was just confused
Who had lit the fuse
That signaled the end
And truly sent me around the bend.
Living Totally Alone
To cope with the last few years
I’d been drinking too many beers
And become such a louse
Mom didn’t want me in her house
So I lived alone
Growing as thin as a bone
Barely able to eat
And no one to greet
Lonesome as hell
And due to Lithium I was as fast as a snail
Laying around all day
Too lazy to even pray.
